The ongoing Kulturkampf against Christmas has now extended to any direct mention of it at all, even when other "holidays" are ritually specified. In this leaked internal memo from Housing and Urban Development Secretary Andrew Cuomo, the "Three Kings" event on the 4th floor is the Latin celebration of Epiphany.

Subject: Holiday Season Celebration

Please join Secretary Andrew Cuomo as we celebrate the holiday season with the annual HUD Holiday Party this Tuesday, December 21st 1:00-3:00 pm. The theme is "A Celebration of Holiday Traditions". There will be four floors of entertainment and merriment as listed below.

4th Floor - Traditions

Kwaanza, Native American celebration of the Winter Solstice, Channukah, Ramadan, The 3 Kings and traditional holiday desserts can be enjoyed on this floor. Gospel and choir singers will perform.

7th floor - Latin Dance Party

La Orquesta Romana will play hot latin and salsa music lessons provided and cool drinks.

8th floor - Jazz Lounge

Hot chocolate, hot cider and desserts will be served while The Innovations Jazz trio plays you favorite jazz standards.

9th floor - Santa & Singers

Live gospel and Choir music and a visit by Santa with the children from HUD childcare will also be featured on this floor.