From Very Smart Brothas:

Is It Racist to Hate the New England Patriots Because They Have Too Many White Players? (Hint: Nope!)

Damon Young
2/05/18

You do not have to search very far to find good and moral reasons to hate the New England Patriots…

And yes, it is fine to hate them because Bill Belichick seems to possess a white-skill-position-player generator. Wes Walker. Rob Gronkowski. Danny Woodhead. Chris Hogan. Julian Edelman. Danny Amendola. Rex Burkhead. THESE ARE NOT THE NAMES OF REAL PEOPLE! THESE ARE THE NAMES OF PEOPLE CREATED BY A WHITE-SKILL-POSITION GENERATOR. Besides New England, there are, like, three white running backs and receivers in the NFL total. The Patriots, however, have 952 of them.

This cannot be a coincidence. It just can’t. … SOMEONE IN NEW ENGLAND IS MAKING THE DECISION TO REFRESH THE BATTERIES FOR THE WHITE-SKILL-POSITION GENERATOR.

And then, when you have an unusual number of white players on a team—football and basketball particularly—the way they’re talked about changes. Words like “grit” and “hardworking” and “intelligent” find their way into the columns and comments and news stories about them. They’re “good locker-room guys” and “coaches on the field.” They “hustle” and they possess an unlimited amount of “guile” and “toughness.” Their “work ethics” are impeccable because they’re true “students of the game.”

Never mind that Gronkowski is basically white LeBron. And by “white LeBron” I mean “Frankenstein.”

Gronk is basically a character from a Knute Rockne era joke about the star Notre Dame player who will be ineligible for the big game against USC unless he passes Philosophy 101.

The Professor: “Mr. Gronkowski, all you have to do is answer one question correctly to pass my philosophy course. Can you tell me who wrote “The Critique of Pure Reason?”

Poor Gronk, heartbroken, admits, “Professor, I can’t.”

His instructor says, “Professor I. Kant … that’s absolutely right! You’ve passed. Go give those Trojans hell on Saturday!”

Or that Danny Woodhead ran a 4.3-second 40. If they’re white athletes, they’re succeeding because of their smarts and their character.

So yes. Hate away. Hate to your heart’s content. Drink a hate smoothie and garnish it with some hateful cilantro. Because even if these things weren’t true, you can’t be racist against white people, so this entire piece is based on a rhetorical question!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB and a columnist for GQ.com. His debut memoir in essays, What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins), is available for preorder.