03m36s  House Republicans throw borders open.  (Isn't that what we voted for?)

11m08s  Birthright citizenship gets an airing.  (Poisonous, harmful, injurious to health.)

18m23s  Absimilation again.  (I keep trying.)

23m12s  War Party defends NATO.  (Mr President, exercise your whim.)

27m32s  Gene studies: the oncoming locomotive. (I calculate its speed.)

31m30s  Dealing with state debt.  (In just two words.)

34m12s  The slide to puritanism.  (Cheerleaders go burka.)

36m27s  The MCC lowers standards.  (Western Civ. trembles.)

40m35s  The sperm dearth.  (Soy? BVDs? Or Mousetopia?)

44m00s  Turtle smugglers snapped.  (Solution to previous?)

45m19s  Signoff.